I do not know about you, but asking for help is my kryptonite! I am so embarrassed to admit that I tell my girlfriends and my kids all the time to “just ask for help,” when it is so darn difficult for the words to come out of my mouth. (Picture “the Fonz” trying to say, (“I’m sorry” ). The crazy part is, I genuinely enjoy working with others. Whether it is at work or doing a project, I love getting feedback from others and hearing other’s perspectives. I find that when I see something through another lens, it opens up more possibilities and extends my capabilities.
So what is an appropriate way to “just ask for help,” without that feeling of guilt or shame that you should be able to do it by yourself? There are certain areas that outside feedback may not be appropriate, and others where it is essential. We need to know the difference. In very personal decisions and life areas, when we need to rely on our intuition, it is time to exercise our hearts to keep us accountable. Making your own decisions and having confidence that you can do it alone is essential during these times. Not to say that you cannot ask for help or guidance, but there are individual decisions that need to be up to you because you are the only one who truly understands the consequences of the decision or action.
On the other hand, there are plenty of times when working with another person or even a team can be rewarding and necessary. I watch people often struggle to do it all on their own when having another’s help, advice, consultation, or expertise would make the project or situation so much easier, better, or more efficient. It is perfectly acceptable to get assistance from another. I have learned the hard way that although I have strengths, I also have areas I need to develop, and asking someone more proficient in these areas not only makes my project better but also teaches me new skills. It doesn’t show weakness to ask for help; it shows a willingness to grow.
As Jessica Herrin, the CEO of Stella & Dot, once said, “We all have twenty-four hours in a day. It is what we choose to do with those hours that sets us apart.” Anytime I hear someone say they do not have time to do something, I think of this statement. It is not that we do not have time; we are choosing to prioritize our time not to include that thing. So if cooking your family meals is a priority for you, make it happen. If it is not, maybe that is a place to carve out time and have a meal planning service step in. If cleaning your own house is therapeutic to you, get to it! If, however, your time can be better spent working toward that promotion, maybe you hire a cleaning service once a month. I realize it is not always financially reasonable to do these things, but you get the point. We need to prioritize our time to fit the goals we are trying to accomplish in our personal lives and professional lives.
Share some tips that have helped you learn the art of collaboration and how it has made your life easier.
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