There are so many things that we cannot control. My best advice and one thing that was difficult for me is: focus on what you CAN control.
Change will continue to happen. Obstacles are inevitable. Disappointment is part of the journey.
What can I control?
My mindset– If my day starts with positive thoughts and a happy attitude, it always goes better than if I let the situation control my mood.
I try to read something inspiring each day. A sweet friend gave me the book “Jesus Calling” and I start each day reading the passage for the day. I also have a Pinterest page of quotes that I scroll through for a reminder of my core values and how I want to act, carry myself, and inspire others. I try to remember the good qualities about myself. I know it sounds corny, but I truly do this. I am a kind and compassionate person. I am a loving and caring mother. I am a dedicated and loyal friend. I am an honest and hardworking employee. Saying these things to myself helps me to reduce the negativity and magnify my gifts.
My priorities– This is a tough one because my children are at the center of my “why” and have been put in front of everything else since they entered this world. It is also why it is so very important that I remember that my children might be feeling sad or frustrated about changes in their lives, they go through the same intense emotions in the grievance cycle that parents do and watching me sulk and act like “Debbie Downer” probably does not help or model a positive outlook.
You have watched it, your child falls down and immediately looks at you like, “Am I hurt? Should I cry? Is this a bad tumble?” If she sees you confidently reassuring her that she is ok, she gets up and brushes off. On the other hand, you hysterically scream, “OH MY GOSH! ARE YOU OK?” … Well, you get what I am saying.
So I try to take the first path and reassure my children that although this time can be challemging, we do what we can to keep going.
My career- All the bills I am responsible to pay will not wait for my life to be in perfect order. There are days (even five years later) that divorce obstacles still comes my way and it is tempting to stop and give it time, but I cannot risk taking time away from my commitment to my company and to my customers to let it affect my work. I put it aside until after work to tackle it. If I am giving my best to my career, I know that I will continue to thrive and I will be able to be better for my family and for myself.
My health- Health and wellness has always been a priority to me. From eating right to getting exercise and keeping up with healthy habits, there is a direct impact on how I feel and how productive I can be for all the rest of my priorities. I am not perfect and there are times when I don’t get enough exercise or eat too much crappy food. I have even been late to get my mammogram throughout some chaotic times. During those times, I find putting it on my schedule to re-correct my patterns usually helps me get back on track. For me, morning is the best time to exercise (because if I don’t do it then, many times it gets knocked off the list) so I get up an hour earlier on Mon-Wed-Fri and get a run in and since I have a few extra minutes to myself, I can get a little writing in before jumping in the shower, getting breakfast going and lunches packed…
We all have our challenges and setbacks. Choosing to focus on what we have the power to change and improve is a way I have found to make the best of it. Give us your best practices for handling tough situations.
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