Who would have ever guessed that getting divorced would prepare you for a pandemic? I know, sounds ridiculous, but think how far ahead those of us are who have started this journey and overcome so many of the challenges others are facing right now.
Social Distancing
One of the toughest parts of getting divorced was learning to be ok alone. I have been a very social person my whole life. I talk to everyone! I have been in sales my entire career and spending time by myself is definitely not my strength, but like it or not, I had to get used to spending a lot more time by myself and remembering who I am as an individual. Taking this break from my normal social circles or revolving my time around my children and their activities, was so uncomfortable for me. I learned that this is an essential part to rediscover who I am what my goals are. I took the time to focus on my strengths as well as my weaknesses and begin to develop in those areas. One of my (many) mottos is “I am a work in progress.” I will always have areas I need to grow.
Cutting Back
Whether it is spending or resources, we have learned the art of cutting back. It does not matter if you are the wealthiest of people, divorce forces you to cut back on the unnecessary. I had no idea how wasteful I was previously. I used to throw out so much food because my family did not care to eat left-overs or I would agree to eat out when we had food to make at home. I never paid attention to how much I was spending on paper towels when I could easily use a hand towel or dishcloth. And now I am so grateful that I already learned these little lessons because I am encouraging my friends to do the same. I am grateful for everything I have and what I can provide for my family. I know we can live with much less than we have and still be blessed.
Time Management
I kind of thought I had this one down before I got separated. I quickly learned that I had a lot to work on if I was going to get the kiddos to school, practice, activities and get the homework finished on top of excel at work, keep a tidy house and have any time to stay active and socialize, I was going to need to prioritize. I am a list maker. I make lists for everything and I have sticky notes hanging from my desktop, car dash and calendar (I know it is wasteful and I am trying to break the habit).
It is such a rewarding feeling to cross something off my list.
Virtual Everything!
Five years ago my besties from across the country would schedule a time to connect over a glass of wine with our version of virtual happy hour! I cannot explain how these times helped me through the loneliness and feelings of isolation. Just hearing that familiar voice on the other end of the phone or seeing that comforting expression on facetime, put me at ease. We also would call each other after work (or before) to lace up our sneakers for a power walk and counseling session. I love that I can jump on an online exercise class and have no excuse for not working out.